5 important questions about marriage

Question #1 - - Children


Sometimes love just isn't enough to keep a couple together.

So often on the Marriage Forums, a person will share an issue in a marriage that is an obvious deal breaker. When asked if the issue was discussed prior to getting married, the answer is often "no."

Don't make that mistake. Don't get married without knowing your future spouse's thoughts on these issues that can kill a marriage.

Compromise is usually not an option if the two of you disagree on these issues that can be deal breakers.


1. Do you want to have children?

It is a huge red flag in your relationship if you and your future spouse can not agree on whether to have children or not.

Thinking that you can deal with this issue later in your marriage is a mistake.

Making a decision to have a baby when one parent doesn't want to have children is not fair to the child or to your marriage.

2. Can we talk about money?

The mechanics of how the two of you will handle your finances really isn't the issue. Many couples in successful marriages have separate checking accounts and many couples in successful marriages have one account.

The issue is whether or not the two of you can calmly and practically talk about money.

If how your money is spent, or saved, or not spent is an issue before you get married, it will be an even bigger issue after your wedding.

If your future spouse doesn't want to talk about money, or doesn't think talking about money is important, postpone your wedding until this issue is solved.
3. Can we talk about sex?

There is no way of predicting the future when it comes to an individual's sexual libido.

However, if the two of you are already having sexual issues, you shouldn't get married until the issues are settled.

Differences in sexual frequency, desire, preferences, fantasies, masturbation, pornography, expectations, etc. will tear the two of you apart. If you and your partner are unable to talk about the issues, or if your future spouse doesn't see any real problem, or doesn't want to talk about sex with you, cancel the wedding.

4. How much time will we spend with our in-laws?

They may be wonderful people who love you both, but your in-laws should not be allowed to interfere in your marriage relationship.

If either one of you will not set boundaries with your own parents when it comes to visits, phone calls, finances, children, etc., the problem with your in-laws will only worsen.
5. Will you clean the toilet?

If the answer is "no" or "why should I?" or "Isn't that your job?", you have several options.

* You can hire someone to do the chores that neither of you wants to do.

* You can accept that you will be doing 90% of the chores around the house.

* You can discuss the importance of sharing the household chores together.