5 WAYS TO MAKE HIM YOURS

NUMBER ONE

Keep away from (his) taboo subjects. At the getting-to-know-each-other stage, certain phrases should be erased from your vocabulary, like “baby”, “wedding”, “mother”, “ex-boyfriend” and “where shall we go for a holiday next year?” If the commitment part of his brain has a smoke alarm, these subjects would set it off every time. Only when you’re absolutely sure he’s fallen for you, can you be normal and use these words liberally. In fact, during those first weeks of heady bliss, he might even use them himself. Enjoy it. It won’t last long.



NUMBER TWO

Play hard to get – it works (sadly). If he asks you what your favourite position is, tell him it’s “over there”. It’s the oldest, saddest trick in a very old, very sad book, but playing hard to get works. If a guy thinks he can easily have what’s on offer, he won’t be so keen. But raise the price up beyond his reach and suddenly he starts saving. It’s a fine line to tread, though. Men will make some effort to get a romance going, but only some. If he forgets your name, you’ve crossed the line.



NUMBER THREE

Memorise his car instruction manual. Learn about compression. And pistons, engine capacities, absorbers and carburettors. A woman who can speak a man’s language and share an interest in his pet subjects like cars or football, speaks the language of love. He’ll be so relieved that he can really talk to you, he’s practically yours. Just don’t get too good at it or you’ll make him feel inadequate.



NUMBER FOUR

Be girly. But don’t be a girlie. You may be self-sufficient enough to make James Bond look like a mummy’s boy, but men still need to pretend they can look after you. Being small helps, but if you’re average height, pretending to be small by crawling on your knees (depending on what you’re doing of course) won’t work. Playing cute is far simpler – struggling to open a jam jar is a good start. But be careful – a total girl is a total turn-off. Girliness is a devastating, tactical weapon. Use sparingly.



NUMBER FIVE

Be his fantasy. A delicate subject not appreciated in these PC times. Uncover his deepest fantasies and fulfil them, no matter how silly, and you’ve won. There’s a theory that fantasies are ruined if they come true. But if you’re waiting for him in a sexy matron’s uniform, love is just a game of nurse-and-patient away. Will he respect you in the morning? Do GPs have unreadable writing?